DATING
Would Relationships Last Longer if We Treated Them Like Business Agreements?
Per my previous email, I had asked you to fix the boiler two weeks ago; awaiting your response
Could it be that to make a relationship last longer we need to treat it like a business agreement?
When we build professional relationships we do it intending to have them last. No one ever drafts up a contract thinking they’re ‘going with the flow’ and that they’ll ‘see how things go’. When a professional relationship starts, it starts with a common belief that the parties involved are going to put in their 100% to make things work and arrive at the outcome they are both looking for. If the outcomes they envision for themselves don’t match, they end all conversation and don’t keep cropping up every now and then to say ‘hey. I still think about you. Do you still think about me?’
Could personal relationships be the same? Could we stop wasting each others’ time from the off and have honest conversations about what we want?
Should we always be checking in on our partners, “Hope you’re well” style? “Hope you had a lovely weekend”. Do relationships fail because we stop asking these questions? Do we stop showing we care?
Should we always be polite? “Can you please amend the contract based on our previous discussion” could replace “that’s not what I said we’d do, you never listen to me” and both parties could be happy.
Should we be drafting relationship agreements? Sheldon and Amy did it on The Big Bang Theory, and they went on to get married and jointly win a Nobel Prize. I would definitely draft relationship agreements if it means I could be down for winning the Nobel Prize for, I don’t know, Best Relationship Advice from a Single Person.
But think about it- relationship agreements could literally cover protocol for everything- frequency of texting, frequency of date nights, the timeline at which one can expect to have the ‘talk’, guidelines for ‘the talk’, timeline to meet friends and family- it would be perfect.
Could there be a minimum term of commitment? Where I work, all contracts require a year’s commitment. I’m not sure I could commit for that long if I know that the man is a bit of a lost cause within three months. Perhaps that should be the minimum term of commitment. Three months is the time period that psychologists suggest for something to become a habit. Perhaps three months is what is needed for a partner to become your habit. If you can go a few days after three months and not miss them when they don’t contact you, perhaps it’s time to address what’s missing?
Perhaps there could be a form written out for when/if a breakup were to occur. Nothing too complicated.
I, (Name of the Dumper), wish to end things with you, (Name of the Dumpee), because-
(Tick one or more)
a) I met someone else
b) You are not what I seek
c) I am still into my ex
Please collect all your possessions from me within the next seven days. Failure to do so will result in them legally becoming my property.
Signed……………
(Dumper)
Signed…………….
(Dumpee)
Date………………..
Social media protocol could be discussed. Do we continue to follow each other? Shall we both unfollow each other? Should the Dumper be considerate of the feelings of the Dumpee and not post anything that makes him/her look too happy? Or at least have the decency to hide these posts from the Dumpee? Or is that not the Dumper’s responsibility anymore?
Could I have just solved the Relationship Crisis of the Millennial Age?
