The Times Social Media Made Me Lose My Shit

All the time since 2019

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It is no secret that the world hasn’t exactly been a happy place since the end of 2019. It all started with a virus that brought out several inherent institutional deficiencies in the world we live in. For me personally, the end of 2019 brought on a rocky beginning of 2020. It was mostly because of a minor car accident that led to massive tensions between me and my father (the police called him and said I’d been in a car accident and I didn’t answer his phone calls and he naturally assumed I was dead- I wasn’t, I was boxing), but I could have lived without this stress. Apologies, I digress.

The virus brought on a lockdown the world over and naturally social media’s influence over the world peaked. TikTok became not just an app but a phenomenon- except in India where the government banned TikTok because China attacked India out of the blue. I have to say, this is the best strategy India has ever come up with. You shot my family, so I will stop using your app. Well done, Modi G.

Anyhoo- given social media’s increasing influence the world over, it also became increasingly capable of angering people- and that’s exactly what it did to me, too. Several times.

The Time Trump Called it the Kung Flu Virus

Trump has never been known for his articulate nature- although we do have him to thank for words such as ‘covfefe’. It has indeed brightened up my ‘covfefe breaks’ with my colleague where go to Caribou Covfefe and get large covfefes. What we cannot and should not thank him for is the spread of Asian hate. I won’t go into the conspiracy theories around the virus or how it came to be or the fact that consuming a bat was involved in the goings-on of the world today- whatever happened, in the end, nothing makes it okay to hate a race or spread hate about a race and be insensitive in front of impressionable people. When you are a public figure, you use your common sense and think before you say (or tweet) anything. Having said that, the US did vote for a nincompoop to become President, so maybe common sense wasn’t what they were looking for.

The Time Clapping at a Fixed Time for Healthcare Workers Became a Thing

I understand- and encourage- thanking healthcare workers. I love healthcare workers. The NHS has taken me into the A&E for the silliest of late night accidents and I cannot thank them enough for getting me out of pickles with a no-questions-asked attitude. But isn’t clapping for them at a fixed time a tiny bit repetitive? This wasn’t what made me lose my shit, though.

No, I lost my shit when India went one step ahead and suggested banging dishes at a fixed time and using the vibrations from it to kill the virus. The vibrations from banging dishes was going to kill a virus. What about families that only have glassware at home? I can’t imagine banging glassware against each other would be quite safe. Does it only work with stainless steel? Or does any kind of noise work? Because if I recall my Year 11 Physics correctly, isn’t sound a wave anyway? So realistically, the noise pollution in New Delhi alone should have killed the virus. The virus shouldn’t have been able to cross over from China in the first place.

My point is- clapping for healthcare workers might have been encouraging, might have even been heartwarming. I have Doctor friends, I could potentially ask them if they felt anything after being clapped for. But this theory of banging dishes was absolute rubbish.

The Time Trump Got COVID- and beat it in three days

Sounds like a publicity gimmick where he either pretended he got COVID and went back to business within three days, or actually got COVID and locked himself, a COVID-positive patient and his bodyguards in a vehicle, effectively creating an enclosed chamber and possibly infecting them too. Seriously, America, what is wrong with you? This is your idea of leadership? Refusing to believe a virus exists, contracting it, and then walking around like a super-spreader whilst calling it a Chinese virus?

The Time Kamala Harris became Vice President

Is it just me or did the world lose its shit a little bit more than it needed to about Kamala Harris becoming Vice President? It is great that a female- and mixed race at that- was going to be in a position of authority and leading the world into a brighter future. It is all incredible. But did Indian women have to lose their shit too? Kamala Harris is half Indian, yes, but do you not remember the time India got its first female Prime Minister literally decades ago? How did that not empower you? How about its second female Prime Minister that the opposition ousted for the stupidest reason? How about Margaret Thatcher? She wasn’t Indian, but at least she was from India’s OG Motherland. Stop being such a sucker to the US; given America’s immigrant origins, it’s a shame that a female, mixed-race figure of authority wasn’t elected many years ago.

The Time Famous Indian Actress Proved She Was All Beauty and No Brains- And Not Even That Beautiful

This famous actress- let’s call her Sabrina, like Sabrina the witch, because that’s what this actress basically is, a witch.

So, Sabrina was at home one day during the lockdown, bored out of her small mind because obviously the entertainment industry has suffered loads and she had nothing to do. ‘Hey’, she thought, ‘I’ve got nothing better to do, how about, I start chatting shit on the internet and become a meme? That could be fun, right?’ And she started speaking. It would have been harmless if she posted TikTok videos of herself slapping the camera lens with her hand to the sound of ‘I’m So Pretty and He Like That’, but instead she decided to turn in a religious-nationalist direction and it wasn’t funny anymore.

Sabrina started classifying peaceful protestors as terrorists. She also decided to extend her support to oppressors, shaming the oppressed because they happened to belong to a religion her ideology doesn’t agree with.

How does one not lose their shit when people open their mouths and spew rubbish?

Social media truly is the new medium for the common person to be heard. If it weren’t, censorship on social media platforms wouldn’t exist. But at this stage, it is actively making me lose my shit.

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Amandeep Ahuja

Amandeep Ahuja is the Author of ‘The Frustrated Women’s Club’. Buy a copy here: